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Chat about a loaded topic that no one wants to speak about, that’s it. Amusing thing, affairs have been going on from the beginning of the world. Extramarital relationships can be loaded with evils, cause heartache, and other harms. Plus you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty matter, funds, age difference, faith background, guilt, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.

For the purpose of this post I should classify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, dating married men.

Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are people seeking affairs. I think mainly though it is just the human nature, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a few explanations I have run across.

Biologically we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us escape the world for a small period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody are able to switch the longing on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos society has erected against married dating. For lots of people the yearnings will beat their doubts and make them risk the anger of not only their relatives, but society as well. So why, what is the mechanism?

Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is extremely good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not hurt your spouse or anybody else? You would need to minimize the hazard you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is advantageous to all, then good luck.

No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the largest grouping, colossal really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they feel happy in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to look after. Your funds are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be jointly besides love and sex.

Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair at times solves the problem while keeping the marriage undamaged.

Avoidance, sadly this is a common cause I fear. One or the other, generally the husband is sexually neglecting his female for a multitude of reasons. As a man I really appreciate you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us men of romance, making them “hot milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.

Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, maybe compassion is vanished, could be it is the closeness, could be neglect. Could be we have simply grown distantly, our relulas concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is contradictory of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.

The number one reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.

There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.